Another one….

I forget that this is a place I use as a release. Let’s try this and see if if helps.

Work is a little manic at this point in time. In my team of 5 at my level, one is signed off, one is on maternity, one is leaving and one has loads of experience, but only 8 months in my company so lacking the knowledge of the system and specificity of our work.

My brain feels overworked right now and it’s only Tuesday. I had 7 Danish pastries, because I still eat my feelings and I had a kebab for dinner, because I still eat my feelings.

My workload is too high, but there is no one else to support. My manager, who I have alot of respect for, but don’t necessarily agree with in many personal opinions, is about to leave too for an internal transfer which is good for him but bad for me.

People close to me at work are all leaving for new jobs or transferring, and all this change and new work pressure is getting in my head. I need to accept I can’t change these things and I can’t do everything, but I still keep trying to. Everything is not on me. Everything is not my fault. Everything is not doable.

All I can think of is work, and that’s not good. That’s also a lie, I think about my ex partner alot recently which is really bad, as we haven’t been together for a good few years now. I need to not do that as well.

What is the best thing for me to do? Sleep probably. Not drink, definitely not smoke, and definitely not text a few people who are inappropriate to contact socially. Keep work at work, not social or anything else. Oh and I’m getting sick, think I might be pushing a little too hard.

God I sound whiny. That is terrible. But this is my space to whine with my first world problems. I’ll do just that and go for it.

Thanks Netty, you’re awesome