Confused and angry

Don’t ask me why I did it, because I don’t know myself but I decided to look up an ex girlfriend of mine online. I don’t have social media applications so I searched her in a search engine and she popped up.

She is living where I had heard rumours of her moving to a few years back, and still works in the same capacity as she did before but for someone else. I searched her rough salary and she is earning a very good wage, but that isn’t want confused and annoyed me.

She is taking a training course in mental health to champion it. Whether that be in thr workplace or elsewhere. This is the same woman who broke up with me after I told her that I was going to go on medication to help my mental health. She was one of the reasons I started this blog back in 2012. I needed an outlet and I had lost the biggest support structure I had.

I had graduated University and was struggling with work. I then got broken up with and a week later got let go from my job. The week after that was Christmas and it was one of the worst I ever had, I was an absolute wreck of a human.

I’m still dealing with my mind now. I’m more withdrawn than I have ever been in my life and I’m considerably older. I am working as hard as I can to try and progress in my job, trying to support my parents and trying to get myself into a position where I can be a role model for my younger family. Yes, that is pressure, but it is what I have always done.

I just feel a little shocked and down right now. Sorry to put this on you Netty. Hope you are OK too.

PL&H

MMS