You know when you need to sleep, but you can’t sleep, so you lay there?  That is right now.

Today I got called on my day off by one of the stores I cover. It was a friend of mine, and he was asking in an irked tone why a transfer was not on his system. After a few minutes I worked out why and he started to have a go. I very nearly lost my temper at him. Instead he got

“If you are calling me to chat and catch up fine. If you are calling me for a quick question, fine, but if you are calling me to have a go at me down the phone on my day off we are going to have a serious problem mate.”

“Well who is in today then? “

” I don’t know, I am on my day off, call and find out “

” fine” *he hangs up *

Now I like this kid, but that is unprofessional and completely disrespectful. I will bring it up with him tomorrow at work when I am in.

Speaking of work, you know how annoying it is to have your shifts messed around with?? The answer is very. It is very annoying.

I have been blogging less and I’m not sure why. Just haven’t felt it. I’ve looked at others blogs, I’ve made a few comments,  but between working and everything else I haven’t done it.

I have also made a lifestyle decision. There was a part of me what I embraced for about 18 Months to 2 years ago and it was an identifier which I attached myself to. I developed a group of friends with my blog who are mainly the ones who comment on here in truth, and it gave me something amount my few friends who knew about it. About a week ago after much thought I decided to denounce it. I no longer feel as I did before, and I do not think it is right for me to call myself by any name which I have not earned.

Qualities I possessed previously I have renamed “leadership qualities ” like taking control of a situation and managing people, rather than names which I would have previously put then under.

Guess this means no longer have an identifier. I’m that guy who writes, but doesn’t even do that that much lately. I’m just that guy, who is going to be 25 and have bugger all to show for it.

Crap post I know but it will do for now. At least I am writing and hopefully getting this out of my head.


Dick Pics, Engagements, Pregnancies and Work

So I have been MIA for about a week.  This has been for a few reasons.  One has been I have been struggling a little at times with social interaction (but I will say something which will completely counteract that).

Let me address the first two parts of the title.  A girl I met who works near me gave me her phone number so we could talk.  That is not abnormal; her and I have spent our lunches together a couple of times and she is cool so I saw no issue with this.  Turns out she is a massive flirt and was pushing me.  Got to a point and she told me she was behaving that way because she was frustrated with her fiancee.  I had no idea that she had one, but trust me to flirt with the girl who has one.  That now makes 3 out of 4 so far.  Awesome work.

Hypothetically if I were to send a dick pic I would be easily identifiable.  This is not because I have a specific looking penis, but because of my tattoo position.  It is so low down that any shot I would take (hypothetically) would include it as well, unless the picture was taken at the base of the shaft to make my dick look like a skyscraper.  I must reiterate, this is hypothetical.

My colleague at work is pregnant so it has made work a little difficult, but we are working round it.  Also in the last ten minutes I have found out a girl who I was mad over is now pregnant as well.  Did I mention she is engaged too? and she walked away to go back to him (understandably, he is a much better guy than me, and he did have her first I suppose).  A little crushed inside if I’m honest.  Always hoped something would work out.  It never will now.

I have been working really hard in the last week.  The last few days have been particularly killer, with yesterday me not actually getting home until nearly half past midnight because I stayed that late.   It is either time for me to seriously find a new job, or for me to not take everything so seriously because it is really becoming a drain on me.

I have not been keeping in contact with someone for a while and I think it is affecting them negatively.  I am not sure what to say, or how to say it, but they should always remember they are awesome.  They always have been, regardless of what they may think.

Everything is a bit of a blur at the moment.  I have this weekend off and I am going to take my friends (3 of them, the ones I ended new years with) to dinner.  They are all so good to me, to the point I am staying at theirs tomorrow and saturday night.  I love them, and they deserve a treat from me.

While working I was talking to someone and she said I came across as “really confident, a ladies man and a smooth operator”.  I was not sure how to take this as I am not that confident, am no way good with the ladies and as for a smooth operator, I am about as smooth as coarse grain sandpaper.  I think she may have been talking to the wrong person.

Oh and girl mentioned at the top, the engaged one, she is 19.  I am 24.  Is that age gap acceptable? Also is that age gap acceptable at my age or is that weird? When older that is not so much of a big deal, however at my age is that abnormal?

Suppose abnormal is how I roll.


Not A Good Day

The day started badly with the walk to the train station drenching me.  My trousers, shoes and hair were soaked, so took off my jumper and used that to towel dry my hair.  My colleague arrived just in time for work which stressed me out that she ran so close to time, and then the day started to get better.

I had this beautiful Spanish woman come in, mid to late 30’s, long dark hair, eyes you wanted to fall into and just the poutiest lips imaginable.  I won’t start on her figure or what her mama gave her.  I got a great sale, a little flirting and great deal of happiness from talking to her; she just had this great aura and it rubbed off on me.

Things we ok, then delivery came.  I had to sort it out (this is normal), but it was huge.  So I mentally braced myself, plugged in my headphones and got down to it.  Then I had to stop within minutes of starting.  My colleague is pregnant and needed to use the toilet, so I had to stay on the floor.  You don’t say no to a pregnant woman, ever.  Plus she is the deputy so it would be stupid to.

Eventually I managed to do about 1/3 of the work and get it sorted, then one of the girls offered to help me near the end of my shift.  I only took a 20 minute break as I knew I would have too much to do, and so came back early because what I don’t do today will be work to do tomorrow.  about 50 minutes left on my shift and one of the girls offers to help me with the delivery.  She is good so I say yes, and we go downstairs and start blitzing it.  We are over 200 units in when something clicks.  The boxes were mixed.  Two consignments were together and so this would mess the stock system up.  It ended up that I had to go through and manually check everything off rather than using the scanner.

I ended up staying an hour later to try and fix some of this mess, and in the end the pregnant deputy had already left and the other girl told me to go home.  She said she would do it and I should go as I am early again tomorrow and Sunday so it will be wise for me to get some sleep.  So I left after making sure she was not alone in the area and went to get my trains.

Now for those who don’t know the UK has been hit with torrential rain, much like the stereotype that projected of English weather.  This torrential rain had caught me in the morning, had been on and off all night and the ten hours I had been at work had not stopped.  Guess what that had lead to? That’s right, flooding on the train, and all of the local area I live in.  Trains were fucked, roads were fucked, people were fucked.

After that monumentally shit day at work, to find I had to wait over an hour to take a 4 minute train is an absolute fucking joke.  This country is known to flood, known for its’ rain and known for years that this happens, because it happens every fucking year.  EVERY FUCKING YEAR.  I was livid by the time I got home.

I came in and said to my mother and stepfather “basically I have had the crappiest day at this job, I am angry and I am going to my room.  I am going to quarantine myself before I say or do something incredibly stupid.  Please just leave me in there”

About an hour ago (4 hours or so after I had left) they called me.  Another delivery has shown up for me to do in the morning.  Joyous

There were questions I didn’t answer, I have just stayed in here.  I considered posting then, but I was shaking.  So I let the anger pass and what has been left? Feeling helpless and just shit.  Because tomorrow I have to sort out this mess.  About an hour ago (4 hours or so after I had left) they called me.  Another delivery has shown up for me to do in the morning.  Joyous.  So more for me.  I am drowning (physically and metaphorically).

Oh and this bitch, this chick who I was tight with for 8 years and then basically blew me off when she got a boyfriend so I cut her out about 9 months ago goes and likes my status on Facebook.  About 2 months ago she made her profile limited so I can’t see more than her profile pictures, and she goes and likes my status to try and initiate some sort of contact.  When she texted me in December I was cordial but cold.  She said “I miss you” and I did not acknowledge it.  Bitch dropped me like a used tissue, so she can go fuck herself.  Made my day worse, these trivial games one plays.

Tomorrow holds more of the same.  But with no mid, and I am with the ditsiest girl I know.  If I don’t throttle her I will deserve a medal.  Oh and one of the other girls noted that I was annoyed and mentioned it, even though she knew the madness that was going on, and proceeded to ask me stupid questions, including asking me if her questions were stupid.  I normally am nice, but today I told her her questions were completely asinine and she needed to work it out rather than ask me.  Oh and your hair looks stupid today.  I think she was so taken aback at me not being me she nearly fell over.

Well that was a stream and a half.  It has now just gone 8pm, time for me to sleep so I can get up before dawn to go to work.  Go Team.  Team MMS is a fucking irrational idiot.


Oh I forgot, I also now haven’t kept up my list challenge.  Seems pointless now that I won’t be doing it today.  Another failure to add to the ever growing list of an accounting and finance graduate doing a job someone with A levels.  Or even less.

List Challenge Round 2! Day 3: Places In The World

Today’s challenge is brought to you by Rising Song over at She Believed She Could So She Did. Her list was:

“Places in the world (including in your own country) you would like to see/visit.” 

  1. Hong Kong – I have quite a few friends from over there and would love to see their home city and explore.
  2. Mainland China – I would love to go here to see the monasteries and see how the monks live and work.
  3. Tokyo (Japan)- Japanese culture is so fascinating, plus all the anime I watch would make it an interesting experience for me
  4. Tennessee (USA) – To go and see the Jack Daniels Distillary as well as see Memphis (walking in Memphis plays in my head now)
  5. New York (USA) – So that I can see all the sites and be a real tourist, plus I can play Englishman In New York (Shame on you for not knowing this song if you don’t.  If that double bass doesn’t get you grooving you have no soul)
  6. Russia – I would like to go to St Petersberg
  7. Greece – The history would be fascinating and keep me occupied.  I am a bit of an ancient history fan
  8. Rome (Italy)– Ditto
  9. Vatican City – Tritto
  10. Cuba – To have a real fresh Cuban cigar the way it was supposed to be, straight off the thighs of the virgin that rolled them.

There you go! Those are the three suggestions I have had from my lovely readers! (over 350 subs and 3 commenters….guess we know how many are bots now!).  If any other suggestions are floating out there feel free to drop them on by, otherwise tomorrow I shall just have to make up my own ones.  Thank you kindly to those who participated!


Food of Champions


This is what I made just now for lunch.  4 eggs, butter, cheese, homemade salsa and a dash of salt and pepper to taste.  Can’t forget a giant mug of tea.  This is the food of champions.  image

Don’t even act like you aren’t even a little jealous of this.  You know that it looks amazing, and trust me, it tastes pretty baller as well.  Been working so hard that I haven’t had a chance to really make myself something, so I thought why the hell not.  It is my day off so I am going to take a few minutes to make myself something appetizing and enjoy it as well.image

Doesn’t that look heavenly? In my third year at university at least once a week I would make this for my partner and I.  Mine would always be first so that I could test the pan and mess up a little, then hers so it was hotter and perfect on the second time round.  Can even throw a little ham in there, or some other little bits and pieces to spice it up.  I like mushrooms (she was allergic so I never had them around her), and occasionally even a little chili in there to really add some oomph! Delicious!

Omelettes: The Food of Champions.


List Challenge Round 2! Day 2: Gym

Today’s challenge was provided by Tis over at Tis Personal (Warning: Mature Content).  Her challenge is below.

“List of exercises you need to do to bulk up at the gym”

Now technically I will be trying to do half cardio, half bulking.  My family have dodgy hearts and I have suffered heart palpitations when I was younger and still come back every now and again currently.  Due to this I try to do cardio, but this also has the advantage of dropping my fat levels and making me more toned.  So I will be slightly deviating and stating what I need to do to increase my strength while also increasing my stamina.

  1. Cycling – I use a stationary bike at the gym as it is a really great way of working up a sweat and getting your heart going.  I make sure to have a setting where it is challenging enough that I can go for an extended period of time and keep my heart rate elevated, without being too hard that I cannot do it for more than 20 minutes.  I did between 40- 60 minutes trying to keep my speed consistent and do up to 40 km I think.  Also great because it is low impact on my knees.
  2. Seated Leg Press – I did this to improve my quads and hamstrings.  I used to do 120kg x 12 x 3 (12 reps of 120kg, rest 30 seconds then repeat 3 times in total).  Also great for toning your butt.
  3. Lunges – If you cannot get to the gym, but happen to have some weights in the house you can hold onto or wear if you have a weight vest then these are awesome.  I try and do these in my room when I have a little time to spare as they are good for stretching also.  Being flexible as well as strong is always good.
  4. Tricep curls – instead of holding the dumbbell horizontally you turn it 90 degrees and hold it vertically.  This activates your triceps to work.  Biceps are pretty and girls swoon over them, triceps are the ones that actually hold the explosive strength were you to ever strike someone.  That is running under the assumption you are not throwing your hips or shoulders into it to add power.
  5. Shoulder Press – a seated machine where you lift weights from chest height and push until your arms are straight above your head.  Great to increase shoulder strength as well as giving the muscles near your underarm a work out.  I have quite strong shoulders so I enjoyed this as it made them stronger.
  6. Chest Press – similar to above but you push outwards and forwards until your arms are outstretched.  A personal trainer found that my chest was my weakest muscle set when seeing what I could do, so I obsessed over this for a while.  Ended up with a quite noticeable chest and I loved that in t-shirts.  (I am vain, so sue me).  Great for pectoral muscles and triceps.
  7. Front Pulldown – A machine where you sit and your arms are outstretched above you and you have to pull the weights down to you.  Depending on the grip it works different muscle sets.  I used a fingers curling in grip (now, my brain went dirty) which worked my back and biceps.  Really good and one I enjoyed quite a lot.
  8. Crunches – All muscle groups benefit from a strong core, so if you improve your stomach, you improve everywhere else as well.  It is all well and good to do sit ups or use a crunch machine, but if you have fat already on your stomach you can overdevelop those muscles and it pushes out the fat and makes you look like you have a bigger belly! I had to drop fat while increasing my core strength and had noticeable definition in the top two abdominal muscles (the quintessential 6 pack).  Can make harder by including punches and swivels, as well as weight to your chest or throwing a medicine ball.
  9. Press-ups – easy to do and no equipment required.  Just assume the position and away you go.  I tried to do groups but sometimes I would just go all out to see how many I could do in one go.  I did groups of 20 generally.
  10. Running – also no specialist equipment required, just a road.  I do less of this to preserve my knees, especially after my accident and how much time I spend on my feet at work.  I want to avoid cortisol injections if possible.  great for weight loss, increasing stamina, and getting yourself known locally if you are friendly and smile at people.

So there you have it.  Day 2 complete.  A little silly in places, but all things that can be done and worked on by me, and some others if they wish to.


List Challenge Round 2! Day 1: Deserted Island

Here begins my second seven day List Challenge.  Day One is brought to you by B over at Thinking With My Head.  (Warning: Mature Content) His Challenge:

 “If you were to be stranded on a deserted island what are the things that you could not live without? Excluding food and shelter but the non essential item you would want to have.”

  1. Electricity.  This is important as it would lead me to having number 2 which is
  2. A computer with a strong internet connection.  I am wanting social interaction.  Interesting I am picking virtual people over real ones
  3. Friendly people.  I will specify of both genders.  I was tempted by the idea of a population who believe me to be a deity and worship me, as well as my own sex island filled with naughty little things to indulge myself with, but I will go with friendly and I can work on the rest myself.
  4. Various knives/bladed items.  A machete would be useful, as would a sharp sheathed knife I can carry on my person.  The SAS have a spade multi-tool which has a cutting edge, a serrated one and can be folded away.  That maybe as well.
  5. A fully stocked pharmacy with a medical compendium.  Should I or any of the people get ill this would be useful.  Granted we would not be able to solve any issues like a heart attack or cancer, but preventing infections and those lower level illnesses could be treated.
  6. Pads and pencils.  I would want to write.  Simple as that.
  7. A book of plants.  This way I can know what will help me and what will hurt me.
  8. A tinder set/striking sticks.  Will make making a fire a whole lot easier than rubbing sticks together.  Also I would start a fire which I would endevour to maintain constantly to attract attention/focal point for everyone.
  9. Strong boots.  vegetation and nasty things on the floor could cause serious damage.  I would want hard wearing boots so that I could tramp around and explore without fear of getting my feet ruined.
  10. Waterproof coat.  I am imagining my desert island to be tropical, rather than tundra, or English, so rainy season/tropical downpours will not be uncommon.  Some sort of waterproofing will be incredibly useful.

I realise I could use the internet to attract attention unless whoever marooned me on this island is masking my IP so I cannot be found.  I am assuming I was placed here under exile rather than shipwrecked, so cannot return.  Wonder what a psychologist would make of that.  Hope you like it B!


16 Hour Shifts and Apologies

Netty dearest I am so sorry.  I know I said I would write my list challenge yesterday but I had such a mare of a day that I didn’t.  I ended up having to work the entire day.  I woke up at 2am, left my house by 4am and didn’t get home until 9:30pm.  By the time I did I was dead on my feet, but I had done a good days work, even if my leg was was in pain and I was tired.  I can’t suggest doing 16 hour shifts regularly as they will probably mess you up in the long run, but it was an experience.

I know I posted a poem in my break, and I had honestly intended to write the list when I got home, but by the time I did I was beat.  I literally was laying in bed with my phone on my face trying to stay awake and have a conversation with PR Girl.  I hadn’t even taken my shoes off, I just fell sideways with my coat and bag on!

I will say that yesterday was productive at work but also personally though.  I got a strong amount done and I am really impressed with myself for it.  My boss was impressed too, having not expected me to a) do as much as I did or b) ask me to step up and do this shift.  I offered because I know it will be remembered and will look good on me.

On a personal level I needed a long box and for something I was doing, so I wandered over to Kurt Geiger to see if they had any boxes available.  I went in and asked if they had any knee high or OTK boot boxes and the sales assistant looked at me and said

“You know what OTK is?!”

“Umm…no?” *awkward moment of too much information*

While in there I got talking to the sales assistant, who saw where I worked and asked me if they had any jobs going.  As shallow as it sounds, the people who work for the company are all young and all good looking.  I am a stock room gremlin so I don’t have to be of that standard, but trust me, the girls at my place of work are all solid.  This girl fit the bill and I said I would come back in later with an email address which she could send her CV into to be considered.  When I went back later I found her there again with another girl and gave the email, with a few notes of what to write and her friend was beaming at me.  She then asked if they had any other positions available.  I didn’t even make a dirty comment when she said that, because she was a solid 8/10! Go Me!!  So I got these two gorgeous girls to email their CV’s over and had a friendly chat without making a complete fool of myself! 10 points to MMS!

Later though another girl who works nearby comes over and shows me that she accidentally spilt some of her drink.  Where did the marks show up?  On her butt.  I looked at her and said

“You do realise you just gave me a valid reason to stare at your arse now to look at that mark?”

To which she gave me a funny look and flounced off!! What?! I was confused for all of 3 seconds then got back on with work, but thinking about it, probably not my best moment.  That said, I have said far worse before.  I will probably see her again today, so we will see how that interaction turns out.

Right, I am going to write my list for today and then get ready to go back to work! Another busy day ahead! Woo!


Forgive Me

Forgive me my foolishness,
Forgive me my selfishness,
Forgive me my arrogance,
Forgive me my distance.

Forgive me my apathy,
Forgive me my isolation,
Forgive me my forcefullness,
Forgive me my coldness.

I have made mistakes,
I am truly sorry,
I am but a man,
Please forgive me.