I just visited my grandparents graves. This is the first time in 10 years I have been here, and the first time I have seen either of their graves.
I stood there with my aunt and uncle as they talked to the granite. They were talking to a grave. I’ve talked to inanimate objects but I have no words.
I had no words. None. Nothing. I couldn’t speak. I just feel like there is a hole.
We have about 20 people on the house and I have nothing to say. I just want to be alone. But I can’t do that.
I forgot that they were here. I forgot. How shit am I?
My Mental Stream 
Just because you don’t have words doesn’t mean you don’t have feelings or compassion. Stop beating yourself up. xo
Thanks. Things are better now. I haven’t had a chance to go back. Now things have calmed down a little I probably will.
good for you. 🙂
You’re not shit. Some people grieve and feel closest to their loved ones by visiting the grave sites. Others, not so much. I absolutely detest going to graves. It feels morbid and makes me focus on their death rather than their life. I never visit any of my relatives’ graves. Not my grandparents, aunts, uncles, friends, not even my own father. Maybe it’s our age, temperament, or simply our preference. It’s okay. Don’t make it harder on yourself by beating yourself up.
Thanks. I will try not to. I’m going to visit again as I doubt I will be back in this country again for a very very long time so I should really. But thank you for sharing, it has helped me.
‘Tis and Grief Happens pretty much summed it up.
Glad to hear you are doing better…
xoox
Thank you for your concern and your care. Much appreciated. xx
*smiling*
hugs my friend
xoox