New Christian Spanking Trends

This is legitimate.  Genuinely completely real.  Seems everyone is trying to adopt some sort of kinkyness into their lives (of which I approve).  But using the Bible as a basis for it? Really??

Also their opinions at the end are a little narrow minded, they only think from one perspective, but still interesting.


Church and Impulse Buys

So today I went to church.  What happened is that a while ago my mum and family did a whole bunch of prayers for me for something to happen (think it was for me to get a job after struggling with unemployment for a long time, might have been something else as well).  In effect what I had to do was go to church and do a prayer saying thank you, as well as take some flowers in as a gift.

Today was the first time in about a year I had set foot in a church (my cousins Confirmation in London was the last time) and before that, not since I was 18.  Yesterday my mum asked me to do a prayer for her, which I did, and that was the first time I had done that in at least 6 years.  Today I went to church, put some flowers at the alter as thanks, and said a few prayers.  Then I went over to the area with some candles and lit 3.  One for my Uncle Peter (mentioned here), one for my grandmother and grandfather (mentioned here) and one for my dads parents and brothers who have passed.  I put some money in the tin for the candles and then went on my way.

While walking home through the town I saw this in the window…I didn’t know if I should, but then I thought screw it and I did.  I bought an electric guitar.

I gave it a once over in the shop and it was out of tune, but you could see it was in reasonably good nick and for the price I paid for that and a 10W amp, it was damn good value really.  I haven’t got a cable though, so ordered that and then I can test out what this puppy sounds like.  I bought it because, though I have an acoustic guitar, and I was taught Spanish guitar, it is much quieter playing on an electric when it is unplugged and so I will not make much noise which will annoy my family and my neighbours.

So there you have it.  I went to church and gave flowers, I came home with a guitar.  I considered going off on one about religion, and the problems I have with it, like why do I need a “Sunday Best” when I can pray in whatever I chose and the prayer will mean the same, as well as why do I need to go somewhere specific to pray, if they are all going to the same place is there a need for a specific place, or is that where there is a tear in the ether allowing for prayers to get through more easily??  Also separation of church and state, gay marriage and general “You shouldn’t do this because it is a sin”  like masturbation and sex before marriage being silly as far as I am concerned.

I’m not against religion, I just don’t really believe in it anymore. If someone can prove me otherwise feel free.  I have my own belief system, it’s basically “be nice to everyone and don’t be a douche” Not that it is working so well so far, but it will do for now.


The Wants of My Mental Stream As At Wednesday June 26 2013

Why did I write that like the title of a Balance Sheet?

  • I want to drink with my friends.
  • I want to go to a club and dance until I am a ball of sweat.
  • I want to laugh and be happy with people.
  • I want my mothers mammogram result to be good.
  • I want sex.
  • I want to lavish someone with gifts.
  • I want to do something that makes a difference to someone, even if it is a tiny thing.
  • I want to scream at the top of my lungs.
  • I want to be creative, but everything I write of late is crap, including what I have posted recently.
  • I want to my tattoo to stop itching.
  • I want to do more body modifications, but to be accepted in white collar industries I can’t.
  • I want to sit on a swing in a park and not see druggies around.
  • I want more than I have right now

Not writing feels weird.  I have blogged daily for so long now it feels odd not to write anything at all.  I am limiting myself to write only when I really need to, rather than updating on a daily basis, regardless of how banal my life may be.  At the moment my life is work, eat, sleep and days off filled with sleeping, eating and preparing to go back to work.  Once again I find myself needing something to look forward to, and there isn’t really anything on the horizon, not for a few years anyway.  No holiday, no trips, no events, nada.  I need a social life, hell, I just need a life.


Failure To Send

Sitting there he stares at the email, vision blurred and mind whurring, unable to write.  So far all he could write is

“Dear Mum and Dad”

Words could not express what he is feeling.  He was never great at writing, he was never any good at saying what he needed to.  Being quiet was just who he was.  Never did he stand out from a crowd, never did he have those stories which made people laugh and made him feel part of it all.  All he had was his art.  His drawings were all he could ever do.  Expression through drawing.  St Martins had seen his talent, and accepted the fact he was not the most sociable of people.  They had accepted him for the shy yet deep person he was.  The tutors were so good to him, giving him his space and giving him time when he needed to express a concern.

Nowhere had he felt more at home than in the studio.  Nowhere had he spoken more loudly or clearly than when he had a piece of charcoal in his hand and smudges on his face.  Now it was all gone.  Graduation had gone, years had gone by and his inability to network had left him with no paddle up a very bad river.  There was no one.  His friends had gone, his family had forgotten him.  He wasn’t even going to write this, but felt he should do something.  That’s what normal people do he thought.

Through the tears he wrote 6 words then clicked send.  As soon as that was done he picked up the knife and jammed it into his throat through the side, severing his carotid artery and piercing straight through to the other side of his neck.  He gargled and choked as blood spurted out of his neck as well as down his windpipe.  He didn’t see that the email didn’t send.  His last 10 words that he would ever put on this earth were lost and never going to be seen.  His head fell to the keyboard as blood covered the desk and slowly started to pool on the floor.

His last 10 words.

“Dear Mum and Dad, I’m sorry I’m not good enough” 

Today’s Events – I GOT A TATTOO!

Today has been a day of ups and downs. I woke up at 2am and left the house at 3.  I went to get on my train to find out it was cancelled, so had to fork out £15 for a taxi.  In retrospect I should have ordered one on the phone rather than get a taxi from the rank on a Saturday morning/Friday night.

When I got to work I had a reasonable day, but I felt I did all the work while my colleague just did nothing.  I had a customer basically call me stupid and ask something for which I did not know the answer.  I offered to go and find out for him, to which he said he would rather I not bother and I should know these things already.  I kept my calm and wished him a nice day, then muttered “Mother F***ing C**tbag”.  He didn’t hear but he made me so angry.  I finished work at 1 instead of 3 as I am doing 9 hour shifts this week rather than 11 hour ones.  Once I finished work I headed home as I decided I wanted to deposit some cash and coinage into my bank account.  I picked up the moneys and then went to the bank.

I joked with the lady behind the counter about some of my anal tendencies when it comes to money, like folding them into groups of £100; keeping £20 and £10 notes separate and my stacks of change in denominations in my room.  I laughed about it and she laughed too.  I know I am a little “quirky” so it is fine.

When walking home I decided to stop by a tattoo parlour.  I walked in and had a chat with the receptionist who must have been early 20’s, but was just stunning.  Bright pink hair, smokey eyes and she had snakebite (double lip piercing, picture below for those with lack of imagination. Note this is not the same girl.

Snakebite example. She is pretty cute though…Light skin, red lips, piercings…if she had daddy issues and a few tattoos….oh my!

So I had a chat with the tattoo artist and they could not book me in until Tuesday after next, to which I said thanks, I will think about it and was unsure of my rota so didn’t want to book anything firmly just yet.  I wandered over to another tattoo parlour I knew of about 25 minutes away and walked in having a chat about the ideas I wanted.  I saw what I wanted more or less in one of their books as part of another piece, so I asked how much it would cost and if possible to do just that little bit.  They said yes and the artist offered to do it right there and then! So I said yes…

Yep. I have a tattoo now.  It is basically a swirl, similar to the Maori one or the inside of a Bornean Rose.  It cost me £30 and I frigging love it.  The guy had to shave part of my crotch (which I offered to do myself but he insisted) not to mention being very close to my junk as I had by boxers half pulled down so he could maneuver and having his face very close to me for a solid 30 minutes.  He also Vaselined me to which I said “surely I owe you dinner or something, not to mention you took my tattoo virginity!

When he did it he did the outline first, and I got a photo of it.  I loved it like that, and he offered to leave it like that if I wanted. My response “Nah, what I will do is have this one filled in.  When I get another, I will have it on the other side, and have that one hollow so it is a matching pair…F**K I just planned my second tattoo! Are you sure it is not an addiction?!

My mother told me “This year, you need to do something for yourself”.  I don’t think this is quite what she had in mind, but it is for me and I love it.  Futhermore they will not be learning about it anytime soon, it is hidden from them and will remain that way for the extended future as far as I am concerned.

Round up: Crap day at work, went to the bank, got A MOTHER FREAKING TATTOO!!

Can you tell this has made me happy??



Flames flicker clinging to the torch held high above the bearers head. His face is carved of stone and his eyes have lost any semblance of the jovial, light hearted young man that he was.  Placing the torch in the pyre the oil is ignited, snaking along the logs and up to the body of his brother in arms, his brother in blood. Dying in battle would been an honourable way to go. The gates of heaven would have opened gladly for a warrior.  His death had been the plot of a scheming coward and had deprived his brother of the noblest death a man could have; fighting for his right to fight.
Vengeance would be his. He would find the traitorous rat who had marred his brothers good name, he would find him and make him suffer. Death would be easy for him,  by the end of this ordeal he would be begging to the God’s above to take him.
The flames flickered and engulfed the pyre.  There was fire in his eyes now. He had a purpose.  He had a goal.

Dont ask.

Rodney Atkins – Cleaning My Gun. How I Will Be With Daughters

Thank you Rising for the recommendation of this song.  I absolutely will be this guy if/when I have a daughter.  I say when, my parents generation are over 80% girls on both sides, and my generation is over 80% boys.  If cycles are anything to go by (not even thinking about genetics or sciencey stuff here) then I’m having girls.  Whatever deity there may be up there, those boys better strat praying to them the second they come through that door to take her out.

It is a rite of passage to meet the father, and for him to be disapproving.  I had a 6 ft Jamaican bouncer as my first encounter.  I was dating his eldest daughter.  Oh, and he had brothers.  He nearly broke my hand on the first handshake, luckily I was never caught doing anything, but damn close several times! It is something every boy must deal with.  I will also probably be a bit like this, but with less racial slurs.

I have been that guy being sneaky with one thing on his mind.  I am terrified at how tech will make this much easier for future generations, because it helped me A LOT when I wanted to get into my ladies undergarmets.  My daughter may be a nun.  It is a strong possibility.  Or I will just have sons, double standard I know, but I know how to deal with boys, girls scare me.