A Break From Blogging??

Hey there. I had a long conversation with a friend last night and among the subjects brought up was the change in my blog.

I used to really live up to the title “My Mental Stream” because that was what I did. I wrote what as on my mind, I wrote out my heart and I wrote to make more sense of what was going on. I cannot read those old posts back currently because they evoke some memories that I am trying to avoid.

My recent style on here is more creative writing. I post music and videos I like on here rather than Facebook as I don’t want to be the guy spamming his friends and taking up their feed. This blog is my space and I feel sharing on here is easier.

Change is inevitable, this much I know is certain in the world. I would say that my mental state has improved vastly over the time I have been blogging, and that is very positive. I would say my blog has become a different one is a negative for balance’s sake, but it is not negative, it is a progression.

I write more and more about myself on here, but not in the sense of my current predicaments, more as a journal. I write about the past, not what is bugging me and writing out to purge and process. That is not so bad, but that is more of a change in my style.

I have changed a great deal in my time writing, I certainly have become more creative than I have ever been, but I have also become a little more stable. Sure I still have down beats, and they can be pretty damn awful, but I have more up beats and they are better. I have met some wonderful people on here, the majority of which are women. (we both made this observation. I get the impression the majority of bloggers are female and American from my experience)

I am unsure currently what I want to do right here. I have reached a crossroads. I can:

A) go back to my old style and write more as I used to; “streaming” as it were. (If I did this, would it class as regression?? I think so and that’s bad)

B) carry on as I am (but I don’t think I am going to do that as something is off. It’s not just my friend who has noticed, I have too)

C) Take a break from blogging.

This may not be an ideal time to take option C right now, with my new job starting and things changing once more. Change can be good and bad and I think I will want to write, but I don’t know.

I will say this, my blog has changed and so have I. It is not that this is coming to an end, which it may or may not be, but what I am saying is that I think I might take a little break away from this.

Ironic that I say I have not done a stream, yet here I am, streaming. I’m doing this partially as an explanation to people who actually read my blog regularly as well. This way you know why and don’t worry if I disappear from the bloggosphere.

This isn’t a goodbye just yet, this is a serious consideration point for me. I will get back to you with what I decide, because I can’t just leave, even temporarily, without saying goodbye.

Hope all are well. Sorry for the confusion.
MMS

Athena’s Owl Would Question This

I say that as my title as in Greek mythology the own or Athena symbolises wisdom.  I am doing my very best to type in as coherent as possible a fashion while I am well under the influence of alcohol.

I went out for my work leaving do and we have had 8 bottles of white between 6 people.  This does not sound much but when you take into account the fact I have barely eaten today, combined with the fact that 2 of the women were pouring their wine into my glass as they couldn’t handle any more, i am minimum 2 bottles down to save then.  I am such a gent! Getting hammered to save them from embarrassment, and I still waited to make sure they all got their appropriate taxi/bus/lift home safely before I headed home myself.  Man, being a nice guy is such a difficult life, but someone has to do it right?!

Man, I love spellcheck, until it starts telling me to start spelling the Yank way with “z” instead of “s” in certain words.  So very irksome I tell you honestly.  I have had a couple of new followers, to whom I say comment as you will, I do not care!! Say what you wish to! I am an open minded and open hearted individual.

I must bid y’all adeiu.

Je suis tres fatigue et je suis envie dormir.  A tout a l’heure mes amis de mon blog, j’adore tout  toi qui comment et adore more en l’internet.  Beaucoup bisous pour toi aver tout les personne qui envie l’amour it envie moi.

Bonne  Nuit

MMS

Greek Mythology Picture

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This is brilliant.  A great pictographic depiction of a Greek myth.  For those singletons out there, your other half is somewhere, you just have to look around and eventually you will find them.  Keep your chin up.

MMS

Thank You Mistress

He sits in the darkness, arms wrapped around his legs in the corner of the room. The occasional passing car is all that can be heard in his room. The cold wall against his back provided some comfort to him. At least he could still feel that.

Opening his eyes made no difference, it was pitch black still, perfect. He didn’t want to see anyone or be seen at all. He just wanted to be in the corner in the darkness. All he needed was Her.

She was good to him, She was kind to him. She made him feel euphoric, even if She was a heartless Mistress at times. The only time he ever wanted to leave this dark corner was for Her. The only time he only actually left his corner was for Her.

Today he had Her though. Today he had Her in his grasp. He had waited for Her, tormented by the voices and thoughts in his head; bickering and squabbling. He needed to silence all of them and She was the one who could do it.

He scrabbled in the darkness for Her tie, Her spoon, Her lighter and Her needle. All of this is for Her, to be with Her again, to stop the voices and bring the peaceful silence of escape.

He found a spot, tied off and shot up. Release, sweet release. Thank you Mistress, thank you.

The Demon Arisen

Fists balled,
Arms straight at his side,
Eyes screwed shut,
Jaw clenched,

“Stay in control,
Stay in control,
Don’t let them win,
Don’t let it hurt”

They push his shoulder,
He sways back,
Breaking his control,
He sees red.

Screams.
A fist full of collar,
Nose, cheekbone, eye socket,
Broken, fractured, damaged.

Ribs crunch satisfyingly,
As the foe falls,
The next stands shocked,
At the demon arisen.

“Run little boy,
You pushed too far,
Come after me again,
I’ll leave you with scars”

Never will he lose it,
His temper remains checked,
Violence is in his nature,
Under the mask of a pacifist.

Avril Lavigne – Here’s To Never Growing Up

Oh wow! Avril, it has been so long since you released a track and you are still one of my biggest crushes EVER!!! Seriously, I fancied this girl when I was back at school.  I have a feeling I will forever have a weakness for punky/rock dressed girls.  All of the outfits she wears (including the one she wore in sk8r boy!!!) all look so hawt!

Seriously, I guess a crush like her never grows up or goes away.  I have her first album “Let Go” on CD in my room right now, and I remember singing along to every song and feeling every single track.  Cute, talented, punky chick and did you see her in those leather trousers with the killer heels.  Mmmm I can work with that.

Enjoy y’all.

MMS

Hmm…Then Aha!

Taaaakkkkeee ooonnnn meeeee… Man, if you know that song you’re damn cool! Right Netty! Time for a little chat.

I am a little confused. There is someone who I have recently got back in contact with after a while of little/no conversation. She is a lovely girl, very pretty and one of the most interesting women I have ever had the pleasure of meeting.

The problem is my brain is having a bit of a problem all over again. I had this issue before with this person. We were kinda romantically linked, and then we had to stop. Now we are talking again I am remembering old memories and the good times. I’d say the bad times too, but there is only one bad time we actually had, and that was after everything stopped.

I have a few old messages on my phone from her and had a read of those. Yeah, I know I should have deleted them, but I’m a memory hoarder. They reminded me of a good summer and the fun I had during it.

Now, as you can probably tell from how I am writing this Netty she is unattainable. You guessed it obviously Netty, you are so astute! So I had underlying feelings for someone, but I know I cannot act upon them. So this brings up something I wrote a while ago called Can A Guy And A Girl Have A Completely Platonic Relationship My opinion is yes. And that has not changed, but that does not mean there were not previous underlying emotions.

So what was the point of this post? I guess it was to remind me that regardless of the past, you can still be friends with people if you really want to.

Once again Netty talking to you has helped me order my thoughts and get myself back in the right lane! You are such a doll Netty, I often wonder what would happen if we stopped talking. Better not for now! TTFN my dear.

MMS