Please Answer. Do You Care?

You are reading this blog right now. I want you to answer these two questions:

1. Does reading my whining and me droning on about my life annoy you?

2. Why are you subscribed to my blog?

I ask this because I feel I complain and bitch a lot. The reason is I try and get it all out on this blog. I use this as my release valve and outlet. I use this to order my thoughts. I use this as an ego boost as people comment and like and it makes me feel like someone cares. I say I get it all out, there are still some things I don’t talk about on here, like my sex life because I’m worried about triggering some of the people I know who read this who have suffered abuse. I would Trigger Warning at the top, but still just feels I shouldn’t. Maybe that’s part of being British, yet I am incredibly open IRL about it.

Yet again I ramble and go off track. Whoever you are, but especially if you have visited my blog more than once, please, please answer my questions. It would really help me.

Thank You.


Four Walls

I love women but they confuse me so much.
How I can I lie here and just crave someone’s touch?
Is it possible to be an Alpha, yet feel like an omega?
Is it possible that I am loco and this is irrational behaviour?
How my mind pushes and pulls, how it turns and twists.
I want to talk to people, but the words don’t exist.
Once again I have so few answers yet so many questions,
Or is that my mind pulling across a dark cloak of deception?
Is life simple as I’d like it, or as complex as cryptology?
The question is, if I walk away, will she come follow me?
Or am I deluded and incapable of emotional detachment?
I am my own prisoner in my own minds encampment.
How do I escape my own prison of self doubt?
How do I break free and let all the words come out?
How do I make sense of things which I cannot explain?
How can tell someone all the thoughts in my brain?
I wear my heart on my sleeve, and I think it is about to fall.
So I need to break out of this prison,
Or make a home within these walls.


I don’t know what it is about suits.  They just feel right to me.  When I was 16 I was doing 4 As Levels at my secondary school, but also an evening class at a local college once a week.  When it came round to sitting my exams it turned out that I had an exam at both my sixth form and my college on the same day.  The college I attended did not have a dress code so on that morning I put on a pair of jeans, hoodie and trainers and headed there.  I sat the 2 hour exam then got my train back home.  Upon arriving I went upstairs and got changed.  My sixth form did have a dress code.  Black shoes, black trousers, black blazer, white shirt, sixth form tie and an option black v-neck jumper.  I went upstairs and changed into those and when I walked down my stairs I said to my mother at the bottom of the stairs “This just feels better; it just feels right

There is a story from when I was 11 that I do not remember completely, but evidence suggests must be true.  On the lead up to my 11th birthday I was asked what I would like, and I told them I wanted a suit.  This is very me in honesty and I am unsurprised by this.  There is a picture of me posing in my suit for my birthday;it was grey and it looked very sharp.

I currently own 4 suits; a black 3 button Ted Baker, a 2 button black with purple pinstripes, a grey 2 button and a beige 2 button linen suit.  There is a distinct possibility I will be adding to this collection of suits tomorrow, and this makes me very happy.  Suits make me feel confident, they make me feel powerful and they make me feel like I am dressed to take on the world.  To quote Barney Stinson

“Nothing Suits Me Like A Suit”



More Love For Jennifer Lawrence

This is a link to a news channel I am subscribed to on YouTube.

I have also now worked out what makes her so attractive to me.  As you go through those photos have a look at her eyes.  Good Lord they are stunning.  She looks amazing as a blonde or a brunette, she has a fantastic body, she is a bit of a geek, she is down to earth, and she has the most incredible eyes, plus her make up artist really knows how to make them pop.  **drool**



Garden Renovation: Topsoil On!

We have now finished digging and the garden is reasonably level. It slants to the left a little so that water run off doesn’t go into the house but towards a drain. We have got rid of about 98% of the grass and covered the top with topsoil and filled in any holes. Not the ground is good and ready for when my friend decides it will be a good time to lay the turf and us to get ready to start paving.

The bottom half closest to us is going to be paved, along with the top corner where the barbecue will be set up. The rest will be turf. I am looking forward to making his garden look awesome. I’ve watched and helped this house be redecorated from top to bottom, and now we are working on the back.

Time to relax and watch Skyfall on DVD. Hope everyone is doing well out there.


Silver Linings Playbook/Oscars/Jennifer Lawrence Gushing

This post is going to be exactly what the title says.  I am going to talk about my opinion of the film Silver Linings Playbook starring Jennifer Lawrence, Bradley Cooper and Robert De Niro, her winning of the Oscar for Best Lead Actress and finally me declaring my love for her.

Silver Linings Playbook really hit home with me.  The way Bradley Cooper acted was was incredible to me.  His portrayal of someone suffering from metal illness was simply astounding.  I was captivated by him, and how much I related to his character.  The father son dynamic between Cooper and DeNiro was brilliant as well.  You could really feel the tension between them and the love they had deep down too.  Lawrence was just brilliant.  The scene where her and Chris Tucker dance, my jaw actually hit the floor. HOT!

I will admit here that this film made me cringe a lot.  This was because of how much of the film hit home.  The moods, the mannerisms, the actions, the reactions and the interactions; all of them made this both captivating yet cringe-worthy for me to watch.  I am not sure if I could watch it again, but I would absolutely not hesitate to recommend this film to anyone who wanted a good watch.

Now, last night was the Oscars.  My darling Jennifer Lawrence won an Oscar for her performance.  Now I am not going to focus on the small slip up she had, but more on her as a whole.  She is incredibly beautiful, funny, talented, sarcastic, and did I mention just drop dead gorgeous?  I would absolutely love to meet her and talk to her.  I think she would have so many cool things to talk about, and even if she didn’t I could just tell her not to get freaked out if I just stared at her because of her breathtaking lovelyness.  By the way, the scene in the dance studio was hot, but the cafe sex talk….I bit my lip.  As for when she just pwns DeNiro I was just fist pumping going “OH YEAH HOW YOU LIKE THEM APPLES!!  SUCK IT!!”

Not sure how to end this, so I will go with this; Hugh Jackman and Bradley Cooper are such gentleman, Jennifer Lawrence is mesmerising, I think everyone should watch Silver Linings Playbook and as always, have nice day.



A Good Day To Die Hard


On Tuesday 19th February 2013 I went to see A Good Day To Die Hard with a friend of mine.  This is the fifth installment in the Die Hard franchise and I have to say I enjoyed it.  It was by no means an incredible must see film, but if you want something with explosions, a bit of fun and some hilariously awkward father son moments, this is your film right here.

I mainly enjoyed this film because of the dynamic between father and son.  They were awkward, stand offish and yet still had their own connection in a sort of twisted way.  That and the fact that everything pretty much blows up.  There are a good couple of twist in the plot.  I went into the film having read no reviews at all, knowing nothing of the story and my only hope being that John Mclane said his legendary catchphrase.  He did, though I was apprehensive he may not as this is a 12a rated movie, but it was censored out.  Still, it was enough me for me fist pump and go “fragging yes! He said it!!”

If you want some mindless fun, plus to experience the coolness of iMax you should absolutely go.  Do it!



Tired, Sore, But Happy

This weekend has been an interesting one for me.  Friday night was one of my colleagues leaving do.  We went to Ask (Italian food) where I had this gorgeous pizza and polished off a bottle of wine and a JD.  (I wasn’t drinking alone, I ended up finishing for other people as they couldn’t finish their food/drink.  Makes me sound like a rubbish bin, but you can’t let good food/drink go to waste.)  After that we to a bar where we had a few drinks.  I am the youngest member of the team and I could see a couple of my female colleagues were itching to dance, so I stood up, grabbed both their hands and lead them onto the dance-floor.  They were so happy that I did that and we danced for ages and our other colleagues joined us.  We were the first people up there having a wiggle and clearly started a trend as more people joined us.  It was surprising to me to find that my colleagues could dance as well as they could, not being derisive or anything of that nature, just well I did not expect to see a couple of them “move their body like a snake” to quote R Kelly.  We danced and had fun, but I left early at around 11:30 as I had an early train to catch the next day.  I said my goodbyes and shook hands and hugged the guy who was leaving.  Odds are I will never see him again, but he was a top guy, really fun and easy to get along with.

On Saturday I went to Cambridge to meet a friend of mine.  We went to one of my favourite places to eat; Wagamama.  I am rather partial to Japanese food; I think it is rather delicious.  I will eat Wagamamas, go to a Sushi bar, or just enjoy a nice bottle of Sake whenever.  From what I can tell about Cambridge it is basically a university city.  I do not mean that like say Hull is a university city, or Manchester, but the city seems to be dominated by the University.  Everywhere I looked I saw another annex of the university, or another college, or another department.  I may have just been inside the central hub and it was a coincidence, but it genuinely felt like I was walking around the university campus most of the time.  That and there are a whole load of bicycles everywhere.  It is a lovely city though, and the great company made walking around even more entertaining.

On my return home Sunday morning I found out by happy coincidence a close friend was coming down to London to visit for the day.  Then by another fantastic coincidence a second very close friend was coming up to London from home!  The odds were not in our favour (can’t believe I just made a Hunger Games reference there) but we all eventually met up in Camden for a few drinks.  It made me laugh when my friend from home and the people he was with started talking about CyberDog and I asked them a few questions about whether they had been to see specific parts they looked shocked and amused at my knowledge.  My response was “I was amazed, I mean glow in the dark handcuffs, that has got to be useful at some point right?!”  I said some other things, but that will be written after the watershed.  One thing I found amusing is that upon meeting new people I have found that I tend to hug girls more than I thought.  It may have been a severe lack of sleep and me being quite happy, but I hugged all the girls (meme moment in my head again) and actually hugged all the guys as I knew them all.  I guess I am just a hugger.

I finally got home Sunday evening about 8:30 pm.  It would have been sooner but as I turned onto the road which leads onto mine I found a police car blocking the road and about four others parked further down.  My first response was to remove my hood and take out my headphones.  I asked the officer if I could walk down the road to my house, but was told in polite terms that I could not.  Someone under the influence (I am willing to wager not on alcohol) was hurling bricks at passers by and the police out of the upstairs window of their house.  It would not be safe for me.  I wished the officers the best of luck with their situation and headed on a longer route, completely circumventing the entire area by a good 50 meters just to be completely safe.  I called my brother as well, just to make sure he was in the house and safe.  I worry about him far too much, but I wanted to make sure if he was out to avoid the area; turns out he was at home so it was OK.

This morning I woke up and my abdominal muscles and back are sore as hell.  I think it was because of the physical exertion I have had recently, but man it hurt to sit up in bed today.  I have done two loads of washing, all the washing up, cleaned the kitchen, put away the dry clothes from yesterday which had been left out, downloaded the updates for a game on the PS3, tidied my room a little and I will continue to tidy round the house a little more once this blog is finished.  Sorry it was so long winded, but I like to write this out, it serves as both a journal and an outlet.  I think this blog is transforming once more.  It was an expensive weekend for me, over £175 in total, but it was worth every penny.  I have not enjoyed myself that much in quite a while.  Hope everyone enjoyed another 1000 word blog from me.




Liebster Award Nomination

Liebster-awardSo as previously stated in this blog right here I have been nominated for the Liebster Award by K.L. Richardson.  She writes at a blog called The Girl At War.  She rambles, analyses and writes some pretty interesting stuff.  I am flattered an honoured to have been nominated, especially by someone who appears to be much wiser and incredibly strong.  To her I tip my hat at both her strength of character and her service to her country.  I have strong feelings about being part of the armed forces, and have considered Sandhurst several times, but my medical would fail me.  I think it is just a pipe fantasy, but that’s not what this post is about! The Rules are as follows:

Here are the rules of the Liebster Award:

  • Thank the person who nominated you.
  • Post eleven random facts about yourself.
  • Answer eleven questions asked by the person who nominated you.
  • Think of a new set of eleven questions and nominate eleven others to answer them.

I’d say I have done bullet point uno, so time for bullet point B.

Eleven Random Facts About Myself

  • I have short hair
  • I do not like green eggs and ham, that just sounds really unhealthy and possibly poisoned.
  • I love suits; I own 4 currently, but want so many more.
  • My favourite piece of clothing I no longer own as was taken by an ex, but my favourite shoes are my Timberland boots (bought by same ex).  I adore them and wear them all the time, but they are in serious need of resoling now.
  • I have a slight obsession with pinstripes.  I have mainly pinstriped shirts and I always end up gravitating towards them when I have to go and buy a new shirt.  Pinstripes are timeless.  I could so write a whole post on that.
  • I used to have poker straight hair when I was little, but when I grew my hair out when I was 18 (mistake!) it now has natural waves in it, though that may be the kink because it was going past my shoulders.
  • I dislike celebrating my birthday.  I have no idea why, but it is coming up soon, yet I don’t really care that much.
  • I love Firefly.  It has to be one of the best shows ever created.  That said I am rather a fan of Nathan Fillion.
  • I once played Marley in A Christmas Carol for the school play.  I had to sing.
  • I have a habit of balling my fists for no reason, I’m not sure why.  A friend of mine pointed it out.
  • The most texts I send in a month was around 2500.

 Roman Numeral III – Eleven Questions Asked By My Nominator

1. How/why did you start blogging?  I started blogging November 2011 as a way to order my thoughts.  I went dark on here until early May 2012 where I started regularly blogging for the same reason.  I believe it has helped me and also introduced me to many new people and ideas.

2. What do you do when the insomnia monster invades your brain?  Honestly? I pet the one eyed snake. I find it relaxes me.  That or I just lay there curled up with my eyes closed and a hat pulled over my eyes so it is dark.

3. What’s the best piece of advice your mum/dad ever gave you?  I have no idea.  Best advice was from a friend who told me “tout va s’arrange rei”  My written french is terrible, but it means everything will arrange its self i.e everything will sort its self out.

4. What was the last interesting, captivating book you’ve read? The Hunger Games; and I will never read them again.

5. When was the last time you went on a real vacation? Where to?  I spent a weekend in Paris middle of last year, but proper holiday was 2008.  I went to St Lucia for my sisters wedding.

6. What’s the worst movie you’ve ever seen? Why was it horrible?  IT The Clown.  I dislike clowns. Or OldBoy, damn that is one seriously messed up film.

7. If you could switch lives with any one person in the world, still living, who would you choose and why?  Bill Gates; he makes so much money yet is able to use it to do incredibly philanthropic things.  He is still making money, and even though he is no longer the worlds richest man, he still continues to give away more and more of his net worth to help people. To me that is amazing.

8. What’s your guilty pleasure on television? Hmm…It was 90210, but I kicked that habit, so probably Hart Of Dixie.  I LOVE the southern accent.  Southern Belles make my knees weak.  I am from the England and I have been told American girls love an English accent, so I could be onto a winner if I ever go to England!

9. What’s your favorite social media medium to use?  I use Facebook, occasionally Twitter, and this.

10. Which summer blockbuster movie are you most looking forward to seeing? Man of Steel, Iron Man 3, GI Joe 2.  Yeah, I am a geek, so sue me, or better yet fight me, be good to test my strength.

11. Are you a published/self-published author? If so, what’s the title of your book(s) and in which formats are they available, i.e. Kindle/Nook?  No I am not, but I have been told I should publish an anthology.  If you think I should please have a look and tell me what you think.  There is not enough there yet, but I would seriously consider it.  Link to my poetry here

As for the final Bullet point quatre I will not be doing this one.  The one person I would nominate does not accept nominations, and the others I would but I know they have been nominated already. Sorry if this disappoints, but that’s what I am going with.

I hope you all learnt a little something, and thank you once again to K.L. Richardson at The Girl At War for my nomination and the wonderful discourse.  You are one hell of a woman.